No question is ever too dumb to ask, and if we are frightened of exposing our ignorance we will never understand anything.
If you don’t make time to work on creating the life that you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want – Kevin Ngo
It is my first job ever so basically I am a neophyte in the corporate world. First months of job, no doubt I was really excited and happy that I am employed. I was very active and participated on all discussions. I raised my hand for stuffs that I don’t understand. I even had to buy something good to wear each month to be professionally presentable. One time, Performance metrics was announced and thought that I could grab this chance to stand out and be recognized. Part of the metrics is speed, to verify as many patients as we can for a month and of course, there is a money amount on that. And I was very good with speed but one thing that I failed with. The more I speed up verifying eligibility the more mistakes I commit. I have learned that speed shouldn’t overlap accuracy. It should be balance; it should be taken one step at a time. Each must be keenly observed and verified. No one gets successful overnight, you have to earn it. It takes a lot of time, focus and determination to get a job well done.
Being on the graveyard shift was a very huge adjustment for me. I maybe a party animal but I am not used being wide awake till the sun rises. It became very hard for me to concentrate and to absorb all facts and information on Dental Insurances. It came to a point that I became sceptical if I really should be in this job. I was doing all the same thing every day. Uploading Chart List, transferring Appointments, verifying eligibility and sending them to the centre. I started to lose my urge to come to the office and do my job. For me the 12 mn-9am work schedule was extremely toxic! Mood swings, High BMI, 2-3 hours of sleep each day which resulted to stress and depression. Not to mention that I have Alopecia and I had hair falls all over my station. I couldn’t focus anymore on my task. I tried looking at the bigger picture and kept a positive attitude but it was really blurry. “I don’t want to be here anymore”, I swear that there were no days that I never mentioned that phrase to myself and to my friends. I started to have visions of my long term plans and goals and I realized that if I’m going to be stuck here, nothing will happen to my life on the near future.
Finally, I got one on one talk with my Team lead. And I finally had the courage to tell her that I am resigning this job. That this really isn’t for me. She supported me all the way and helped me with the papers I needed. Sometimes you got to stand alone, just to actually know how damn strong you are, even if it’s longer than you expected. In my case I chose to have a peace of mind. You just can’t force yourself into something that you really don’t like because it will never work out. Life is too short to live in regrets. I am still young and full of potentials and I believe that I made the BEST decision ever.